Photostories by Humans of St. Louis
Rita and Daryl
Delta State, Nigeria and St. Louis, Missouri, USA
Rita: “I came to the United States in 2012 from Nigeria, but before that, I met my husband online, and we were talking for two years. We talked 20 times a day and texted like a million times. He’s a truck driver, and when I came here to see my family in California, he came down to see me. He was like, ‘Would you like to ride with me?’ And I said, ‘Yeah!’ So, we took off. I rode around with him for about six months. We went to 40-something states from the East Coast to the West Coast and this was my first time seeing the U.S. My uncle was scared, like, ‘You just met somebody and you’re going around with him?’ I said, ‘I am a risk taker.’ He is a nice guy. He is lovely. At one point when we were riding together, he asked, ‘Would you like to marry me?’ So we went to Vegas and got married."
A close up of Rita and Daryl as they hug and smile graciously in a park.
Rita: “I am from Nigeria. I met him on Tagged, an American website. It was international for me because I was in Europe when I met him. I visit Germany three or four times a year and I had been to the U.S. before. In 2005, I went to New Jersey to visit my uncle. In 2012, I came back again to visit another uncle in California, and my Daryl and I had been talking. He said at one time he was going to visit me in Germany, but I told him, ‘I am actually coming to the U.S.’ When I got here, I called him and said, ‘I am here.’ So, he came to see me. He is from Missouri. Since he works as a truck driver, he was pulling a load from California to Texas back and forth. That was when we first met in person. Before that, we talked like 20 times a day and texted like a million times."
“How did you decide to go with him on his journey?”
Rita: “I like traveling and I wanted to see the U.S. The first time I came here I was on a Greyhound bus, and I went to 14 states over two weeks. What a great way to see the country. Then, when Daryl and I spent time together, we went to the beach in San Diego, we saw the water running by the road up the coast of California, the mountains in Oregon were beautiful, and so was Yellowstone in Montana. Then we went to Florida. The only states that we didn’t go to were Michigan, Maine, Alaska, and Hawai’i. We got along very well. We were forced to get along in the truck with such a little space for six months. Unfortunately, about a week after I got here, my dad died in Nigeria. Originally, I had come to the states on a visiting visa, but when we got married it was like, ‘Why would I want to go back?’ I had to start filing my immigration papers. We got some lawyers, but they were too expensive. At that point, the trucking company was full, so he didn’t have a job and I couldn’t work yet. Our rent was like $1,200 per month. We were looking for help to start filing my papers, otherwise I would have had to go back to Nigeria. We started calling around. Then somebody gave us the number for the MICA Project.”
Rita: “I like traveling and I wanted to see the U.S. The first time I came here I was on a Greyhound bus, and I went to 14 states over two weeks. What a great way to see the country. Then, when Daryl and I spent time together, we went to the beach in San Diego, we saw the water running by the road up the coast of California, the mountains in Oregon were beautiful, and so was Yellowstone in Montana. Then we went to Florida. The only states that we didn’t go to were Michigan, Maine, Alaska, and Hawai’i. We got along very well. We were forced to get along in the truck with such a little space for six months. Unfortunately, about a week after I got here, my dad died in Nigeria. Originally, I had come to the states on a visiting visa, but when we got married it was like, ‘Why would I want to go back?’ I had to start filing my immigration papers. We got some lawyers, but they were too expensive. At that point, the trucking company was full, so he didn’t have a job and I couldn’t work yet. Our rent was like $1,200 per month. We were looking for help to start filing my papers, otherwise I would have had to go back to Nigeria. We started calling around. Then somebody gave us the number for the MICA Project.”
Rita and Daryl are standing together and smiling in a park.
“So you proposed to her then on the trip?”
Daryl: “I am ex-military. When I met her online and saw that she was in Germany, I thought that she was stationed in Germany. She had these pictures in a really beautiful dress and she had her hair done and she was in front of a shopping mall. We got to talking and she said that she was going back and forth to Germany. Here I am meeting a woman that travels the world and trades goods. I was like, ‘I need to get to know her.’ I said, ‘If you can’t get here, I will go to Germany to see you.’ It ended up that I was doing a run from Chicago to California and Texas. I like to travel. I like to drive. When I heard she was coming here, I drove down to California and I met her. When I first met her, I was hooked. I was just hoping that she was going to be mine. And then I said, ‘Look, I really like you and I really want to get to know you. But, I am on the road a lot. So if you would like to come with me, you can get the experience, and if you don’t like it I will bring you back home.’ I don’t work for big companies. I work for smaller outfits and they don't really bother you as long as you do your job. So, I could bring people with me. Truck drivers have a bad reputation. I wanted her to really understand what I did and how I did it so that she would see exactly what I did when I went on the road. I also wanted to give her a feel for what it is like to be in the truck. That way, if and when she left, she would know what I’d be doing and she’d understand the trucking industry. When I asked her to join me, she said, ‘Why not.’ I was like, ‘Oh my goodness. This is the one for me. And now she even knows how to drive a truck.”
Daryl: “I am ex-military. When I met her online and saw that she was in Germany, I thought that she was stationed in Germany. She had these pictures in a really beautiful dress and she had her hair done and she was in front of a shopping mall. We got to talking and she said that she was going back and forth to Germany. Here I am meeting a woman that travels the world and trades goods. I was like, ‘I need to get to know her.’ I said, ‘If you can’t get here, I will go to Germany to see you.’ It ended up that I was doing a run from Chicago to California and Texas. I like to travel. I like to drive. When I heard she was coming here, I drove down to California and I met her. When I first met her, I was hooked. I was just hoping that she was going to be mine. And then I said, ‘Look, I really like you and I really want to get to know you. But, I am on the road a lot. So if you would like to come with me, you can get the experience, and if you don’t like it I will bring you back home.’ I don’t work for big companies. I work for smaller outfits and they don't really bother you as long as you do your job. So, I could bring people with me. Truck drivers have a bad reputation. I wanted her to really understand what I did and how I did it so that she would see exactly what I did when I went on the road. I also wanted to give her a feel for what it is like to be in the truck. That way, if and when she left, she would know what I’d be doing and she’d understand the trucking industry. When I asked her to join me, she said, ‘Why not.’ I was like, ‘Oh my goodness. This is the one for me. And now she even knows how to drive a truck.”
Daryl is laughing.
Daryl: “To really know a person, you have to be with them. You have to get to know their good side and their bad side. By us riding together, we could find out if we were compatible. I knew I wanted to be married and she knew she wanted to be married. I was like, ‘Why don’t we just go get married in Vegas, and then later on we can have a ceremony?’ Again, she said, ‘Yeah, why not.’ So we went to Vegas and got married. I loved her and she loved me, and it has been heaven. She didn’t really know me, but she took a chance. For her to take a chance on me, that was really important because she was trusting me. We had gotten to know each other in those two years before. We just hadn’t had a chance to catch up in person. That’s all I really wanted.”
“After a while, Rita said, ‘I need to be home.’ So I brought her back to Missouri. I had an apartment that I was living in with my sister and my brother-in-law, and my sister ended up passing away after about a couple of years of living together. It was right before I met Rita. My brother-in-law ended up moving out, and I was like, ‘Since you're moving out, I want to keep the apartment because me and my wife are going to stay there.’”
“After a while, Rita said, ‘I need to be home.’ So I brought her back to Missouri. I had an apartment that I was living in with my sister and my brother-in-law, and my sister ended up passing away after about a couple of years of living together. It was right before I met Rita. My brother-in-law ended up moving out, and I was like, ‘Since you're moving out, I want to keep the apartment because me and my wife are going to stay there.’”
Daryl is taking a photo of Rita as she poses with a lamp.
Daryl: “Rita changed my life in a positive way. I am able to adapt more and not just block myself off. Rita is very international. She can talk to anybody. She can get along with anybody. I love her accent. She is a friendly, nice, good person that works hard and her good qualities make me a better person. I definitely eat healthier with her. And she is a very uplifting type of person. She believes in uplifting herself to be better everyday and that helps me be better. We both connect in the fact that we don’t see race. We know that there races exist, but we don’t see it. We see people.”
Rita: “One time we were riding and our truck had a problem. It got stuck on the hill. We couldn’t move because of the ice and we were sliding back. It was one o’clock in the morning and we were in the middle of the road. This white guy came by and asked, ‘Why are you guys parked in the middle of the road?’ and we said, ‘We can’t go up the hill because of the ice.’ He said, ‘I live 20 minutes away, but I am going to get you salt.’ He said he was going to come back and he did. I thought, ‘If he doesn’t come back, it is okay.’ But he did come back. He apologized that it took longer than he thought and explained that he had to drive slow because of the ice. That night he took his time to drive back to bring us salt.”
“When you do take him to Nigeria one day, what are you excited to show him?”
Rita: “Okay, don’t be offended though. I call him a oyibo, and oyibo means ‘white.’ If he goes to Nigeria, that’s what they will call him. He says, ‘I’m black!’ and I say, ‘I know you are, but that’s what they will call you. So, don’t be offended if that’s your nickname because compared to me, you look white.’”
Rita: “One time we were riding and our truck had a problem. It got stuck on the hill. We couldn’t move because of the ice and we were sliding back. It was one o’clock in the morning and we were in the middle of the road. This white guy came by and asked, ‘Why are you guys parked in the middle of the road?’ and we said, ‘We can’t go up the hill because of the ice.’ He said, ‘I live 20 minutes away, but I am going to get you salt.’ He said he was going to come back and he did. I thought, ‘If he doesn’t come back, it is okay.’ But he did come back. He apologized that it took longer than he thought and explained that he had to drive slow because of the ice. That night he took his time to drive back to bring us salt.”
“When you do take him to Nigeria one day, what are you excited to show him?”
Rita: “Okay, don’t be offended though. I call him a oyibo, and oyibo means ‘white.’ If he goes to Nigeria, that’s what they will call him. He says, ‘I’m black!’ and I say, ‘I know you are, but that’s what they will call you. So, don’t be offended if that’s your nickname because compared to me, you look white.’”
Daryl and Rita hug each other while smiling into the camera.
“Rita, how have you been treated by people here in Missouri?”
Rita: “I have worked for three businesses now and the management has always liked me. But sometimes people act like you are taking their job from them. They are probably not used to dealing with people from other countries. At one of my jobs, one lady got fired because she told me ‘to go back to Africa.’ She was black. And they fired her and said, ‘You can’t say that to anybody.’ That was the first time that I reported on somebody because usually I don’t let things like that bother me. I did not expect that coming from another black person.”
Daryl: “That is another thing that I really love about her. She can get along with anybody, but she is proud to be African. She is African and she is Nigerian. I respect that. I just hate when people from my culture have been so hard to her for no reason. We need to be more diverse.”
“As an immigrant, how does it make you feel to hear about what's going on with immigration in the U.S. right now?"
Rita: “I feel bad about it. I tell my husband all the time, if it was better in my country, I wouldn’t be here. It is tough back home. I am lucky. What about people that are trying to become citizens? I understand if someone is here illegally, and they commit a crime, they get deported. That’s fine. I cannot come to your country and tell you how to do things. It is your country. If I do not like the way things are, I am free to leave. But, if you are here trying to embrace it, then you should be free to stay. For me, it has been great here in America. I am just grateful for the opportunity to live here because, for example, I do not need to know anyone to get a job. In my country, I would need to know somebody. But here, you just put an application in, and if you are qualified they give you the job. I get to work as much as I want to.”
Rita: “I have worked for three businesses now and the management has always liked me. But sometimes people act like you are taking their job from them. They are probably not used to dealing with people from other countries. At one of my jobs, one lady got fired because she told me ‘to go back to Africa.’ She was black. And they fired her and said, ‘You can’t say that to anybody.’ That was the first time that I reported on somebody because usually I don’t let things like that bother me. I did not expect that coming from another black person.”
Daryl: “That is another thing that I really love about her. She can get along with anybody, but she is proud to be African. She is African and she is Nigerian. I respect that. I just hate when people from my culture have been so hard to her for no reason. We need to be more diverse.”
“As an immigrant, how does it make you feel to hear about what's going on with immigration in the U.S. right now?"
Rita: “I feel bad about it. I tell my husband all the time, if it was better in my country, I wouldn’t be here. It is tough back home. I am lucky. What about people that are trying to become citizens? I understand if someone is here illegally, and they commit a crime, they get deported. That’s fine. I cannot come to your country and tell you how to do things. It is your country. If I do not like the way things are, I am free to leave. But, if you are here trying to embrace it, then you should be free to stay. For me, it has been great here in America. I am just grateful for the opportunity to live here because, for example, I do not need to know anyone to get a job. In my country, I would need to know somebody. But here, you just put an application in, and if you are qualified they give you the job. I get to work as much as I want to.”