Photostories by Humans of St. Louis
Ian and Alex
St. Louis, Missouri, USA, and Puebla, Mexico
Alex: “So, the first time I came here, I was 15-year-old. I came with my aunt and uncle. I returned to Mexico four years after that, and when I came back I got caught by immigration. The second time I was planning to stay here because I like this country. So I started going to school to take English classes to make it easier to live here. A girl in class told me about the MICA Project and how the lawyers there were helping her get DACA. They helped me try to get that, too, but it didn’t work. When I lost my brother in 2007, I had to go back to Mexico again. It was not part of my plans, but I had to go back. When I tried to return to the U.S. again, I got caught by immigration a third time.”
“I’m the middle sibling. My brother is in North County and my sister is in South County. The main reason I came here was because I wanted to build my house in Mexico. When you turn 15, you start to see how hard life can be there. I planned to stay here for maybe a year and a half and then go back home after my house was done. But I came here and started to get used to this country and decided to stay. The last time I went back to Mexico, it was totally different and I knew life would be easier living in the U.S.”
“The economy is difficult there. And we, fortunately, were not so bad off, but that’s because of my dad and my parents. As my siblings and I got older, we started to think, ‘Someday we are going to separate and we are going to make our own lives and we're going to have to start from scratch. Being in this country, we are not going to do anything. If we are going to do something, it will be very slow. The salaries they pay in Mexico don’t compare to the wages in the United States. So you have to make a decision: 'Do you want to live like this the rest of your life? Or do you want to go to the United States and leave your family?’ It is one of two decisions – to be with your family and to suffer, or to go to another country, give it your best, do what you want and be able to help your family. And we decided. Me, my siblings, and my friends came for the same reasons.”
“La economía es difícil allá. Y nosotros, afortunadamente, no estábamos tan mal, pero es por parte de mi papá y de mis abuelos. Creciendo, mis hermanos y yo nos pusimos a pensar, ‘Algún día nos vamos a separar y nos vamos a hacer nuestras propias vidas y vamos a tener que empezar desde abajo. Estando en este país, no vamos a hacer nada. Si lo vamos a hacer, va a ser muy despacio. Con los sueldos que pagan en México, no se compara en nada con los sueldos en los Estados Unidos. Y tienes que tomar la decisión de, ‘¿Quieres vivir así el resto de tu vida? ¿O quieres irte a los Estados Unidos y dejar tu familia?’ Es una de dos decisiones – de estar con tu familia y sufrir, o irte a otro país, echarle ganas, hacer lo que quieras y poder ayudar a tu familia. Y nosotros decidimos. Yo, mis hermanas, y amigos que tengo, se vinieron por las mismas razones.”
“I’m the middle sibling. My brother is in North County and my sister is in South County. The main reason I came here was because I wanted to build my house in Mexico. When you turn 15, you start to see how hard life can be there. I planned to stay here for maybe a year and a half and then go back home after my house was done. But I came here and started to get used to this country and decided to stay. The last time I went back to Mexico, it was totally different and I knew life would be easier living in the U.S.”
“The economy is difficult there. And we, fortunately, were not so bad off, but that’s because of my dad and my parents. As my siblings and I got older, we started to think, ‘Someday we are going to separate and we are going to make our own lives and we're going to have to start from scratch. Being in this country, we are not going to do anything. If we are going to do something, it will be very slow. The salaries they pay in Mexico don’t compare to the wages in the United States. So you have to make a decision: 'Do you want to live like this the rest of your life? Or do you want to go to the United States and leave your family?’ It is one of two decisions – to be with your family and to suffer, or to go to another country, give it your best, do what you want and be able to help your family. And we decided. Me, my siblings, and my friends came for the same reasons.”
“La economía es difícil allá. Y nosotros, afortunadamente, no estábamos tan mal, pero es por parte de mi papá y de mis abuelos. Creciendo, mis hermanos y yo nos pusimos a pensar, ‘Algún día nos vamos a separar y nos vamos a hacer nuestras propias vidas y vamos a tener que empezar desde abajo. Estando en este país, no vamos a hacer nada. Si lo vamos a hacer, va a ser muy despacio. Con los sueldos que pagan en México, no se compara en nada con los sueldos en los Estados Unidos. Y tienes que tomar la decisión de, ‘¿Quieres vivir así el resto de tu vida? ¿O quieres irte a los Estados Unidos y dejar tu familia?’ Es una de dos decisiones – de estar con tu familia y sufrir, o irte a otro país, echarle ganas, hacer lo que quieras y poder ayudar a tu familia. Y nosotros decidimos. Yo, mis hermanas, y amigos que tengo, se vinieron por las mismas razones.”
Alex smiles at the camera as he rests his arm on the railing by a river
“All my life I am going to be grateful to MICA because if it had not been for them, I think that I would be in Mexico again. They helped me get a permit, but right now I'm afraid that, although I have it, what if I cannot renew it? I live with the fear that the President can cancel everything and that it won’t be renewed and I’ll have to go to Mexico again. Another fear is that I came here when I was 15 years old. I’m going to turn 33. It’s practically been about 18 years living in the United States. I feel like I've lived here my whole life. Things are also worse in Mexico now, so I have that fear to go there, too. What I am going to do? I have never worked in Mexico, because when I came here I came straight out of school. There’s this fear of starting over. It's like coming from your country to another country that you do not know.”
“Toda mi vida voy a vivir agradecido a MICA porque si no hubiera sido por este yo pienso que estuviera otra vez en México. Me ayudó a agarrar un permiso, pero ahorita ando con el miedo de que, aunque lo tengo, ¿Que tal vez no pueda renovar? Vivo con el miedo que, el Presidente me pueda cancelar todo y que ya no me lo puedan renovar y tener que ir a México otra vez. Otro de los miedos es que me vine para aquí a los 15 años. Ahorita voy para el 33. Prácticamente, son acerca de 18 años viviendo en los Estados Unidos. Siento que he vivido todo mi visa aquí. Ahora, las cosas están peor también en México, y es el miedo también de que ir para allá. ¿Que voy a hacer? Nunca he trabajado en México porque cuando vine para acá, vine saliendo de la escuela. Ir para allá es el miedo de empezar otra vez. Es como venirse de tu país a otro país que no conoces.”
“How has MICA helped you?”
Alex: “MICA has helped advise me, to look at other ways I could apply for ways to stay, because I applied for DACA for example, but between requirements and sending the application, and sending another application, I was rejected. And the lawyers at MICA told me that if I wanted to, I could re-submit the application again. But they had returned it three times already, and three times is an expense. At the same time, MICA did me the favor of applying for an asylum for me as well. That asylum was the one that, thank God, gave me permission to be here. And instead of cancelling or not cancelling, I got to put aside a deportation that I had, too. In fact, when I got permission to be here and they had put my deportation aside, I think I was about two months away from being given a departure date for Mexico. As I said, MICA has really helped me a lot.”
Alex: “MICA me ha ayudado en aconsejarme, en mirar otro tipo de caminos en los cuales podía aplicar, porque yo aplique para DACA por ejemplo, pero entre requisitos y mande la aplicación, y mande otra aplicación, me la rechazaron. Y los abogados en MICA me dijeron que si la quería yo, podría remeter la aplicación otra vez. Pero ya eran tres veces que me la habían regresado, y tres veces es un gasto. Al mismo tiempo, MICA me hizo el favor de aplicarme para un asilo también. Ese asilo fue el que, gracias a Dios, me dio el permiso de estar aquí. Y de cancelar, no de cancelar, sino de que poner a un lado una deportación que yo tenía también. De hecho, cuando me llegó el permiso de estar aquí y de que habían puesto mi deportación a un lado, creo que me faltaban como dos meses para que me dieran la fecha de salida para México. Como dijé, MICA me ha ayudado bastante.”
“What would someone do if MICA didn’t exist here?”
Alex: “Let’s hope that doesn’t happen, because I don’t know. I couldn’t even imagine. Before I found out about MICA, I had another lawyer and he was helping me with the DACA problems and a DUI that I had. It was complicated. He helped me with the DUI, but the moment he put my immigration papers in for DACA, he put down two different birth dates for me. It was his mistake, and I was denied. It is logical that immigration was confused. 'Is this him or is this not him?' The lawyer charged me a significant amount and did nothing. I always paid and he never gave me receipts. At that time, I was going to school and a friend gave me the number for MICA. I talked to her and she told me, 'They can help you with this and that. I already applied. You should go talk to them.’ And I asked her for the card to contact an attorney there. I walked in, we talked and talked, and she redid the papers that the other lawyer had messed up. At the same time, she told me about other ways instead of DACA that I could apply to stay as well. That’s how we did it and that’s how I received this permission to stay now. Yes, they are a group of professional who I have a lot of faith in.”
Alex: “Ojalá que no pase eso, porque no sé. No sé ni imaginarlo. Antes de conocer MICA, yo tuve otro abogado y él me estaba ayudando con los problemas de DACA y un DUI que tuve. Fue complicado. Me ayudó con el del DUI pero al momento que él metió mis papeles con inmigración para pedir lo de DACA, él metió dos fechas de nacimiento diferentes. Fue el error de él, y me habían negado. Es lógico que inmigración se confundió. ‘¿Es él o no es él?’ El abogado me cobró suficiente dinero y no hizo nada. Siempre yo pagaba y nunca me dio recibos. En ese tiempo, yo estaba yendo a la escuela y una amigo me regaló el número de MICA. Le platiqué y dice, ‘A ellos te pueden ayudar con esto y este. Ya me aplicó. Deberías ir a platicar con ellos.’ Y le pedí la tarjeta para contactar a una abogada allá. Entre, plática y plática, ella metió los papeles que el otro abogado los había metido mal. Al mismo tiempo, me dijó sobre otras formas que yo podía aplicar también en vez de DACA. Esto es fue cómo lo hicimos y fue como recibí este permiso. Sí, son unas licenciadas que les tengo bastante fe en ellos.”
“Now I'm asking for asylum, but my lawyer told me to wait because I can be denied and sent to Mexico. It is better to keep the permit I have now and keep renewing it every year. Then, if necessary, I can reopen the case and fight it. So, for now, we’re just going to stay with where it’s at. Since he and I got married and everything, he also asked for a type of permission so I wouldn’t be deported.”
“Toda mi vida voy a vivir agradecido a MICA porque si no hubiera sido por este yo pienso que estuviera otra vez en México. Me ayudó a agarrar un permiso, pero ahorita ando con el miedo de que, aunque lo tengo, ¿Que tal vez no pueda renovar? Vivo con el miedo que, el Presidente me pueda cancelar todo y que ya no me lo puedan renovar y tener que ir a México otra vez. Otro de los miedos es que me vine para aquí a los 15 años. Ahorita voy para el 33. Prácticamente, son acerca de 18 años viviendo en los Estados Unidos. Siento que he vivido todo mi visa aquí. Ahora, las cosas están peor también en México, y es el miedo también de que ir para allá. ¿Que voy a hacer? Nunca he trabajado en México porque cuando vine para acá, vine saliendo de la escuela. Ir para allá es el miedo de empezar otra vez. Es como venirse de tu país a otro país que no conoces.”
“How has MICA helped you?”
Alex: “MICA has helped advise me, to look at other ways I could apply for ways to stay, because I applied for DACA for example, but between requirements and sending the application, and sending another application, I was rejected. And the lawyers at MICA told me that if I wanted to, I could re-submit the application again. But they had returned it three times already, and three times is an expense. At the same time, MICA did me the favor of applying for an asylum for me as well. That asylum was the one that, thank God, gave me permission to be here. And instead of cancelling or not cancelling, I got to put aside a deportation that I had, too. In fact, when I got permission to be here and they had put my deportation aside, I think I was about two months away from being given a departure date for Mexico. As I said, MICA has really helped me a lot.”
Alex: “MICA me ha ayudado en aconsejarme, en mirar otro tipo de caminos en los cuales podía aplicar, porque yo aplique para DACA por ejemplo, pero entre requisitos y mande la aplicación, y mande otra aplicación, me la rechazaron. Y los abogados en MICA me dijeron que si la quería yo, podría remeter la aplicación otra vez. Pero ya eran tres veces que me la habían regresado, y tres veces es un gasto. Al mismo tiempo, MICA me hizo el favor de aplicarme para un asilo también. Ese asilo fue el que, gracias a Dios, me dio el permiso de estar aquí. Y de cancelar, no de cancelar, sino de que poner a un lado una deportación que yo tenía también. De hecho, cuando me llegó el permiso de estar aquí y de que habían puesto mi deportación a un lado, creo que me faltaban como dos meses para que me dieran la fecha de salida para México. Como dijé, MICA me ha ayudado bastante.”
“What would someone do if MICA didn’t exist here?”
Alex: “Let’s hope that doesn’t happen, because I don’t know. I couldn’t even imagine. Before I found out about MICA, I had another lawyer and he was helping me with the DACA problems and a DUI that I had. It was complicated. He helped me with the DUI, but the moment he put my immigration papers in for DACA, he put down two different birth dates for me. It was his mistake, and I was denied. It is logical that immigration was confused. 'Is this him or is this not him?' The lawyer charged me a significant amount and did nothing. I always paid and he never gave me receipts. At that time, I was going to school and a friend gave me the number for MICA. I talked to her and she told me, 'They can help you with this and that. I already applied. You should go talk to them.’ And I asked her for the card to contact an attorney there. I walked in, we talked and talked, and she redid the papers that the other lawyer had messed up. At the same time, she told me about other ways instead of DACA that I could apply to stay as well. That’s how we did it and that’s how I received this permission to stay now. Yes, they are a group of professional who I have a lot of faith in.”
Alex: “Ojalá que no pase eso, porque no sé. No sé ni imaginarlo. Antes de conocer MICA, yo tuve otro abogado y él me estaba ayudando con los problemas de DACA y un DUI que tuve. Fue complicado. Me ayudó con el del DUI pero al momento que él metió mis papeles con inmigración para pedir lo de DACA, él metió dos fechas de nacimiento diferentes. Fue el error de él, y me habían negado. Es lógico que inmigración se confundió. ‘¿Es él o no es él?’ El abogado me cobró suficiente dinero y no hizo nada. Siempre yo pagaba y nunca me dio recibos. En ese tiempo, yo estaba yendo a la escuela y una amigo me regaló el número de MICA. Le platiqué y dice, ‘A ellos te pueden ayudar con esto y este. Ya me aplicó. Deberías ir a platicar con ellos.’ Y le pedí la tarjeta para contactar a una abogada allá. Entre, plática y plática, ella metió los papeles que el otro abogado los había metido mal. Al mismo tiempo, me dijó sobre otras formas que yo podía aplicar también en vez de DACA. Esto es fue cómo lo hicimos y fue como recibí este permiso. Sí, son unas licenciadas que les tengo bastante fe en ellos.”
“Now I'm asking for asylum, but my lawyer told me to wait because I can be denied and sent to Mexico. It is better to keep the permit I have now and keep renewing it every year. Then, if necessary, I can reopen the case and fight it. So, for now, we’re just going to stay with where it’s at. Since he and I got married and everything, he also asked for a type of permission so I wouldn’t be deported.”
A close-up shot of Alex smiling at the camera.
“Ian, before you met Alex, had you met anyone in a similar situation?”
Ian: “No, I have friends who have overstayed their student visas. They wanted to continue to work, or continue their education, and that is all that they want to do. My opinion has changed since being raised here. I got to break out of my shell, know more people from various parts of the world, and started paying more attention to what is going on politically and why we put up so many barriers for people who just want to come here and make money or get an education. They are doing whatever they feel will help them improve themselves. People say, ‘It’s not a problem with immigration, it's a problem with illegal immigration.’ But the part that makes it illegal is that we keep adding more bureaucracy and changing the terms. Why do we throw up so many barriers? Some say, ‘Well, my grandparents came here legally.’ I am sure your grandparents came here when the laws were quite different. All you had to do was show up, make sure you didn’t have any communicable diseases, and you were good to go. When he was just trying to get his parents here to visit, they had to prove that they had $25,000 in their bank account in assets and ownership of real property. As an American, I can go pretty much anywhere in the world, and I don’t have to prove any of that. I don’t have $25,000 in a bank account. So, when I find out about stuff like this, I realize that we are jacked. Should background checks be done? Sure, as best as you can. But, what is the big deal about letting someone come here who wants to work, who wants to get an education, who wants to do what they want to do as long as they’re not harming anybody?”
“Alex, how does it make you feel being here and knowing that you have to file paperwork all the time to stay?”
Alex: “It makes me feel a bit safer although I have to renew it. At the same time, I live with this fear that every time my lawyer submits the papers for renewal with immigration, those days of waiting are hard because I think they will not renew it. That I’ll be denied. The difference is that now I feel safer to walk around here though. In terms of driving, and working, I feel more free. But with this new President, I start to feel the same way as before because you no longer feel safe. At any moment things will change again. We’ll see what happens.”
Alex: “Me hace sentirme un poco más seguro aunque lo tengo que renovar. Al mismo tiempo, vivo con ese miedo de que cada vez que mi abogada mete los papeles con inmigración para la renovación, esos días de esperar son difíciles porque yo pienso que no me lo van a renovar. De que me la nieguen. La diferencia es que ahorita ya me siento más seguro para andar aquí. En cuestión de manejar, en cuestión de trabajar, ya me siento con mayor libertad. Pero, con este nuevo Presidente, me empiezo a sentir igual de la misma forma que antes porque ya no te sientes seguro. En cualquier momento las cosas vayan a cambiar otra vez. A ver qué pasa.”
Ian: “No, I have friends who have overstayed their student visas. They wanted to continue to work, or continue their education, and that is all that they want to do. My opinion has changed since being raised here. I got to break out of my shell, know more people from various parts of the world, and started paying more attention to what is going on politically and why we put up so many barriers for people who just want to come here and make money or get an education. They are doing whatever they feel will help them improve themselves. People say, ‘It’s not a problem with immigration, it's a problem with illegal immigration.’ But the part that makes it illegal is that we keep adding more bureaucracy and changing the terms. Why do we throw up so many barriers? Some say, ‘Well, my grandparents came here legally.’ I am sure your grandparents came here when the laws were quite different. All you had to do was show up, make sure you didn’t have any communicable diseases, and you were good to go. When he was just trying to get his parents here to visit, they had to prove that they had $25,000 in their bank account in assets and ownership of real property. As an American, I can go pretty much anywhere in the world, and I don’t have to prove any of that. I don’t have $25,000 in a bank account. So, when I find out about stuff like this, I realize that we are jacked. Should background checks be done? Sure, as best as you can. But, what is the big deal about letting someone come here who wants to work, who wants to get an education, who wants to do what they want to do as long as they’re not harming anybody?”
“Alex, how does it make you feel being here and knowing that you have to file paperwork all the time to stay?”
Alex: “It makes me feel a bit safer although I have to renew it. At the same time, I live with this fear that every time my lawyer submits the papers for renewal with immigration, those days of waiting are hard because I think they will not renew it. That I’ll be denied. The difference is that now I feel safer to walk around here though. In terms of driving, and working, I feel more free. But with this new President, I start to feel the same way as before because you no longer feel safe. At any moment things will change again. We’ll see what happens.”
Alex: “Me hace sentirme un poco más seguro aunque lo tengo que renovar. Al mismo tiempo, vivo con ese miedo de que cada vez que mi abogada mete los papeles con inmigración para la renovación, esos días de esperar son difíciles porque yo pienso que no me lo van a renovar. De que me la nieguen. La diferencia es que ahorita ya me siento más seguro para andar aquí. En cuestión de manejar, en cuestión de trabajar, ya me siento con mayor libertad. Pero, con este nuevo Presidente, me empiezo a sentir igual de la misma forma que antes porque ya no te sientes seguro. En cualquier momento las cosas vayan a cambiar otra vez. A ver qué pasa.”
Ian and Alex smile and stand with their arms around each other on the river front.
“What would you like to see for immigrants in this country as opposed to barriers?”
Alex: “Immigration reform. What they are going to do right now, the wall, will not fix anything. I crossed it several times already. The third time I walked 17 hours overnight from Arizona. During the day it is super hot, and at night it gets super cold. We were close to the border in Tucson when immigration grabbed us. The helicopter arrived and the people in immigration uniforms picked us up and dropped us off in Tijuana, telling us that we weren’t to cross again. But you're going to try however many times it is necessary to be in this country. We tried to go through Tucson again, they grabbed us, and in Tijuana we stayed for about three days when we tried to cross again. Immigration officials tell you, 'Don’t you dare cross. But if you do, good luck next time.’ They know you're going to try it as many times necessary to get here. So, after two days, three days, we crossed another time and in Tijuana we still did not pass.”
Alex: “Una reforma migratoria. Lo que van a hacer ahorita, el muro, no va a arreglar nada. Yo atravesé ya varias veces. La tercera vez caminé 17 horas sobre la noche desde Arizona. Durante el día está super caliente, y durante la noche se pone super frío. Estábamos cerca de la frontera de Tucson cuando nos agarró la inmigración. El helicóptero llegó y los uniformados de la inmigración nos levantó y nos bajaron en Tijuana, diciéndonos que ya no nos atravesamos. Pero uno va a intentar las veces que sean para estar en este país. Atravesamos en Tucson, nos agarraron, y en Tijuana estuvimos como tres días y atravesamos luego. Los de inmigración te dicen, ‘No te atreves. Pero si lo haces, suerte para la próxima vez.’ Ellos saben que vas a intentarlo las veces que sea necesario para estar aquí. Así que después de dos días, tres días, atravesamos otra vuelta y en Tijuana igual no pasamos.”
“Near Arizona we stayed about a week, and we crossed again. And it was like, 'No, they brought us back after 17 hours on the journey. They brought us back again.’ We were already there at the border for a month without crossing. We returned to Puebla, Mexico, where I am from. We were there for a week and from there I told my brothers, 'Let's try it again.' It was July 4th when we finally passed. We only walked about 15 minutes and we entered. The day that everyone has their fireworks here in the United States, we passed like it was nothing. Quickly. The coyote told us, This day is good to try because there is not much surveillance. It’s a holiday. There aren’t many border patrol agents.' And we jumped the wall, we ran the length of the street, we hid, and we were here in the United States. We got into a car, stopped at a stop sign, and a policeman was at our side. He saw us and did not say anything.”
“Cerca de Arizona estuvimos como una semana, y atravesamos otra vez. Y fue como, ‘No, nos regresaron después de 17 horas de camino. Nos regresaron otra vez.’ Ya estuvimos allí en la frontera un mes sin pasar. Nos regresamos para Puebla, México, de dónde vengo yo. Estuvimos allá una semana y de allí le dije a mis hermanos, ‘Vamos a intentarlo otra vez.’ Era el 4 de Julio cuando por fin pasamos. Solamente caminamos como 15 minutos y pasamos. El día en que estaban todos con los cohetes aquí en los Estados Unidos, nosotros pasamos como si nada. Rápido. El coyote nos dijo, ‘Ese día es bueno para pasar porque no hay mucha vigilancia. Es día festivo. No hay mucha inmigración.’ Y brincamos el muro, corrimos la calle, nos escondimos, y ya estamos en los Estados Unidos. Nos subieron a un carro, paramos en un parada, y el policía estaba a un lado. Nos vio y no nos dijo nada.”
Alex: “Immigration reform. What they are going to do right now, the wall, will not fix anything. I crossed it several times already. The third time I walked 17 hours overnight from Arizona. During the day it is super hot, and at night it gets super cold. We were close to the border in Tucson when immigration grabbed us. The helicopter arrived and the people in immigration uniforms picked us up and dropped us off in Tijuana, telling us that we weren’t to cross again. But you're going to try however many times it is necessary to be in this country. We tried to go through Tucson again, they grabbed us, and in Tijuana we stayed for about three days when we tried to cross again. Immigration officials tell you, 'Don’t you dare cross. But if you do, good luck next time.’ They know you're going to try it as many times necessary to get here. So, after two days, three days, we crossed another time and in Tijuana we still did not pass.”
Alex: “Una reforma migratoria. Lo que van a hacer ahorita, el muro, no va a arreglar nada. Yo atravesé ya varias veces. La tercera vez caminé 17 horas sobre la noche desde Arizona. Durante el día está super caliente, y durante la noche se pone super frío. Estábamos cerca de la frontera de Tucson cuando nos agarró la inmigración. El helicóptero llegó y los uniformados de la inmigración nos levantó y nos bajaron en Tijuana, diciéndonos que ya no nos atravesamos. Pero uno va a intentar las veces que sean para estar en este país. Atravesamos en Tucson, nos agarraron, y en Tijuana estuvimos como tres días y atravesamos luego. Los de inmigración te dicen, ‘No te atreves. Pero si lo haces, suerte para la próxima vez.’ Ellos saben que vas a intentarlo las veces que sea necesario para estar aquí. Así que después de dos días, tres días, atravesamos otra vuelta y en Tijuana igual no pasamos.”
“Near Arizona we stayed about a week, and we crossed again. And it was like, 'No, they brought us back after 17 hours on the journey. They brought us back again.’ We were already there at the border for a month without crossing. We returned to Puebla, Mexico, where I am from. We were there for a week and from there I told my brothers, 'Let's try it again.' It was July 4th when we finally passed. We only walked about 15 minutes and we entered. The day that everyone has their fireworks here in the United States, we passed like it was nothing. Quickly. The coyote told us, This day is good to try because there is not much surveillance. It’s a holiday. There aren’t many border patrol agents.' And we jumped the wall, we ran the length of the street, we hid, and we were here in the United States. We got into a car, stopped at a stop sign, and a policeman was at our side. He saw us and did not say anything.”
“Cerca de Arizona estuvimos como una semana, y atravesamos otra vez. Y fue como, ‘No, nos regresaron después de 17 horas de camino. Nos regresaron otra vez.’ Ya estuvimos allí en la frontera un mes sin pasar. Nos regresamos para Puebla, México, de dónde vengo yo. Estuvimos allá una semana y de allí le dije a mis hermanos, ‘Vamos a intentarlo otra vez.’ Era el 4 de Julio cuando por fin pasamos. Solamente caminamos como 15 minutos y pasamos. El día en que estaban todos con los cohetes aquí en los Estados Unidos, nosotros pasamos como si nada. Rápido. El coyote nos dijo, ‘Ese día es bueno para pasar porque no hay mucha vigilancia. Es día festivo. No hay mucha inmigración.’ Y brincamos el muro, corrimos la calle, nos escondimos, y ya estamos en los Estados Unidos. Nos subieron a un carro, paramos en un parada, y el policía estaba a un lado. Nos vio y no nos dijo nada.”
Ian and Alex hold hands while sitting in front of a wall with graffiti on it that reads "Love Lives Here".
Ian: “We were married September 16, 2014, in Chicago. The date that we got married is symbolic. The day is actually my birthday but, aside from that, it is also Mexico’s Independence Day. I get teased because I am a guy and the stereotype is that maybe I couldn’t remember my anniversary otherwise. But, honestly, I always take that day off for my birthday. So we thought about doing a weekend trip and we worked hard to take it with that day in mind. It was like we eloped in Vegas. We asked a friend to be our a witness. Then we got up there and we hit some traffic, so we had like 15 minutes before the Clerk’s Office closed. I Googled the nearest courthouse, and we arrived just in time. We tried to go to this restaurant that serves cemita’s – sandwiches from where Alex's from, but because it was a holiday in Mexico, the restaurant was closed.”
“If you hadn’t met, what would be something you wouldn’t have in your life?”
Ian: “He wouldn’t be able to reach the top shelves.”
Alex: “That is mean! ...Yeah, but that is one thing.”
Ian: “For me, a good part of my heart would be gone. To think about him not being here is super depressing. Can you say we always agree? No. But do we listen and try to understand each other’s point of views? Yeah. My point of view on some topics is going to be different because I have lived in the U.S. my whole life. He has lived here long enough that he does have an insider’s point of view, but he also has an outsider’s point of view, too. That’s something I have come to respect from anyone that is from outside of the country. But, to have someone to talk to and share a life with. If you have a bad day, to just vent to them. The little jokes and fun aggregations we give each other, you can’t replace that. In spite of whatever bullshit the government throws at him, I am with him. I have done whatever research I can to be of whatever help I can. I am pretty sure MICA has it more than covered, but you know, he gets nervous. I’m more of the calm one who takes a measured approach to things. You’ve got to hope for the best and prepare for the worst.”
“Who has been the biggest supporter of your relationship so far?”
Alex: “Our kitty! But, seriously, you get used to being together. The love is there, but at the same time another thing is born, which is just being together. You have someone waiting for you at the house all the time to talk about things with. I start to think, 'If I go to Mexico, I'm going to miss him a lot, too.' I say I might go to Mexico, but who knows? I think that this is one of the biggest things. If we were to separate, yes, they would take a big part of my heart too because we are already used to being together. If we were separated, it would be a strong pain for him as well as for me. It affects us in many ways, especially for my family. I have nephews born here. Now, for my parents to come here, with the President now, things are going to be harder to get a visa. That dream is slowly coming to an end. What will happen next? We do not know. When are we going to see my parents? We do not know. My sister hasn’t seen my mom in 15 years. When is she going to see her? My mom sometimes cries because she wants to see her daughter. How does she do it? I am like in exile. If the asylum is approved one day, I am definitely exiled from Mexico. I'm not going to Mexico anymore. Like they say over there, one way or another we're screwed.”
Alex: “Nuestro gaitita! Pero, en serio, uno acostumbra de estar juntos. El amor está, pero al mismo tiempo nace otra cosa, que es el de ya estar juntos. El de que tienes alguien que te está esperando en la casa todo el tiempo. Me pongo a pensar, ‘Si me voy para México, lo voy a extrañar mucho también.’ Yo, como le digo, vamos para México, pero, ¿quién sabe? Yo pienso que esa es una de las cosas más grandes. De que si nos llegaran a separar, sí, se llevarían así gran parte de mi corazón también porque ya tenemos mucha costumbre de estar juntos. Si nos llegaran a separar, sería un dolor fuerte para él como para mí también. Nos afecta en muchas maneras, especificamente para a mi familia. Tengo mis sobrinos nacidos acá. Ahora, si a mis padres quieren venirse para aquí, con ese Presidente ahora las cosas van a ser más duras para agarrar una visa. Ese sueño se está acabando poco a poco. ¿Qué va a pasar más adelante? No sabemos. ¿Cuándo vamos a ver a mis papás? No sabemos. Mi hermana tiene 15 años sin ver a mi mamá. ¿Cuándo la va a ver? Mi mamá llora a veces porque quiere ver a su hija. ¿Cómo lo hace? Yo estoy como un exiliado. Si se aprueba un día el asilo, definitivamente estoy desterrado de México. Ya no voy para México. De una o de otra forma estamos jodidos como dicen por allí.”
“Where do you feel the stress the most?”
Ian: “We see stuff in the news and every outlet has it’s own bias to it. It depends who you watch. I try to watch conservative and liberal stuff. I think there is that version of truth, this version of the truth, and somewhere there is the actual truth. That’s the part I value and try to find. And our President has flip-flopped so many times, you don’t know what to expect from him.”
Alex: “We were thinking of buying a house, and I told him to wait until we see what happens. No quiero comprar una casa o comprar una casa y después me mandan para México y él hace todos los pagos. Lo está afectando todo. Mis hermanos quieren comprar carros. Tengo otro hermano que dice, ‘Ya no voy a comprar carro tampoco. Tengo que esperar.”
“If you hadn’t met, what would be something you wouldn’t have in your life?”
Ian: “He wouldn’t be able to reach the top shelves.”
Alex: “That is mean! ...Yeah, but that is one thing.”
Ian: “For me, a good part of my heart would be gone. To think about him not being here is super depressing. Can you say we always agree? No. But do we listen and try to understand each other’s point of views? Yeah. My point of view on some topics is going to be different because I have lived in the U.S. my whole life. He has lived here long enough that he does have an insider’s point of view, but he also has an outsider’s point of view, too. That’s something I have come to respect from anyone that is from outside of the country. But, to have someone to talk to and share a life with. If you have a bad day, to just vent to them. The little jokes and fun aggregations we give each other, you can’t replace that. In spite of whatever bullshit the government throws at him, I am with him. I have done whatever research I can to be of whatever help I can. I am pretty sure MICA has it more than covered, but you know, he gets nervous. I’m more of the calm one who takes a measured approach to things. You’ve got to hope for the best and prepare for the worst.”
“Who has been the biggest supporter of your relationship so far?”
Alex: “Our kitty! But, seriously, you get used to being together. The love is there, but at the same time another thing is born, which is just being together. You have someone waiting for you at the house all the time to talk about things with. I start to think, 'If I go to Mexico, I'm going to miss him a lot, too.' I say I might go to Mexico, but who knows? I think that this is one of the biggest things. If we were to separate, yes, they would take a big part of my heart too because we are already used to being together. If we were separated, it would be a strong pain for him as well as for me. It affects us in many ways, especially for my family. I have nephews born here. Now, for my parents to come here, with the President now, things are going to be harder to get a visa. That dream is slowly coming to an end. What will happen next? We do not know. When are we going to see my parents? We do not know. My sister hasn’t seen my mom in 15 years. When is she going to see her? My mom sometimes cries because she wants to see her daughter. How does she do it? I am like in exile. If the asylum is approved one day, I am definitely exiled from Mexico. I'm not going to Mexico anymore. Like they say over there, one way or another we're screwed.”
Alex: “Nuestro gaitita! Pero, en serio, uno acostumbra de estar juntos. El amor está, pero al mismo tiempo nace otra cosa, que es el de ya estar juntos. El de que tienes alguien que te está esperando en la casa todo el tiempo. Me pongo a pensar, ‘Si me voy para México, lo voy a extrañar mucho también.’ Yo, como le digo, vamos para México, pero, ¿quién sabe? Yo pienso que esa es una de las cosas más grandes. De que si nos llegaran a separar, sí, se llevarían así gran parte de mi corazón también porque ya tenemos mucha costumbre de estar juntos. Si nos llegaran a separar, sería un dolor fuerte para él como para mí también. Nos afecta en muchas maneras, especificamente para a mi familia. Tengo mis sobrinos nacidos acá. Ahora, si a mis padres quieren venirse para aquí, con ese Presidente ahora las cosas van a ser más duras para agarrar una visa. Ese sueño se está acabando poco a poco. ¿Qué va a pasar más adelante? No sabemos. ¿Cuándo vamos a ver a mis papás? No sabemos. Mi hermana tiene 15 años sin ver a mi mamá. ¿Cuándo la va a ver? Mi mamá llora a veces porque quiere ver a su hija. ¿Cómo lo hace? Yo estoy como un exiliado. Si se aprueba un día el asilo, definitivamente estoy desterrado de México. Ya no voy para México. De una o de otra forma estamos jodidos como dicen por allí.”
“Where do you feel the stress the most?”
Ian: “We see stuff in the news and every outlet has it’s own bias to it. It depends who you watch. I try to watch conservative and liberal stuff. I think there is that version of truth, this version of the truth, and somewhere there is the actual truth. That’s the part I value and try to find. And our President has flip-flopped so many times, you don’t know what to expect from him.”
Alex: “We were thinking of buying a house, and I told him to wait until we see what happens. No quiero comprar una casa o comprar una casa y después me mandan para México y él hace todos los pagos. Lo está afectando todo. Mis hermanos quieren comprar carros. Tengo otro hermano que dice, ‘Ya no voy a comprar carro tampoco. Tengo que esperar.”
A close-up shot of Ian looking at the camera.
Ian: “Alex's oldest nephew asked me, ‘Am I going to come stay with you?’ and I thought he meant for like a weekend to hang out. But he said, ‘If my parents get sent back, am I going to come stay with you so I can go to school?’ I asked why he was asking that and he said that he was worried about Trump becoming the next President. He is 11. That is not something he really should be worrying about. He was born here and he is an American citizen. I told him that I didn't think that was going to happen, but it wouldn’t bother me if he stayed with us. That’s one of the things I’m very passionate about. They have been here, they have contributed to the economy, they have not caused any problems. A lot of people say, ‘Well, all they do is come here and get on welfare.’ Not a lot of them do because they are too afraid of doing anything with the government for getting discovered and getting sent back.”
“Is there anything else that is on hold right now?”
Ian: “We are trying to get his parents to come here. Taking the nephew to meet his grandparents for the first time. He’s 12 now and to meet his grandparents for the first time? Are you kidding me? Stuff that we take for granted.”
Alex: “Last week were on the phone with my mom and dad in Mexico and my other nephew was with me. I asked if he wanted to say ‘hi’ and he was like, ‘Oh, but I don’t know them.’”
Ian: “From an outside point of view, it is heartbreaking to see that. I can't imagine not having known my grandparents. Just to be separated by an imaginary line on a piece of paper is ridiculous.”
Alex: “I hope things get a little better and there are a few more opportunities. Many Americans think that, ‘They come and take our jobs.’ I have American friends and they are not against us, but I tell them sometimes, 'You think we come to take your jobs and they give us papers to take your jobs. But think about it another way. How are they going to take your jobs? One, we do not speak English. Two, we have no schooling. How are we going to stop by an office and say, “Okay, I want your job because I already have papers.” And how are they going to hire me if I do not speak English, I do not write English, I have no idea of English? Even if I have papers, I will not be able to take your work. We are going to have the freedom to be here, but not to take your work from you. How are we going to do it if we do not have degrees? The one that give us our papers is not going to be the one that gives us diplomas, too. That's not gonna happen. Simple enough, what we want is to be free. To have the opportunity to buy a ticket, and to say, ‘I'm going to go to Mexico. I'll be there for a week or a few days, and I'll return.’”
Alex: “Ojalá las cosas se compongan un poquito mejor y haya un poquito más de oportunidades. Muchos Americanos piensan de que, ‘Ellos vienen y toman nuestros trabajos.’ Yo tengo amigos Americanos y ellos no están en contra de nosotros, pero les digo a veces, ‘Ustedes piensan que nosotros venimos a tomar sus trabajos y que nos dan papeles para tomar sus trabajos. Pero pónganse a pensar de otra forma. ¿Cómo van a tomar sus trabajos? Una, no hablamos inglés. Dos, no tenemos estudio. ¿Cómo nos vamos a ir a parar a una oficina y decir, “Okay, quiero tu trabajo porque ya tengo papeles.” ¿Y cómo van a contratarme si no hablo inglés, no escribo inglés, no tengo ni idea de inglés? Aunque tenga papeles no voy a poder tomar tu trabajo. Vamos a tener la libertad de estar acá pero no de tomar sus trabajos de ustedes. ¿Cómo lo vamos a hacer si no tenemos un estudio? El que nos den unos papeles no va a ser que nos den unos diplomas también. Eso no va a pasar. Simplemente, lo que queremos es ser libres. El de tener la oportunidad de comprar un boleto, y de decir, ‘Voy a ir a México. Voy a estar allí una semana o unos días, y me regreso.’"
“Is there anything else that is on hold right now?”
Ian: “We are trying to get his parents to come here. Taking the nephew to meet his grandparents for the first time. He’s 12 now and to meet his grandparents for the first time? Are you kidding me? Stuff that we take for granted.”
Alex: “Last week were on the phone with my mom and dad in Mexico and my other nephew was with me. I asked if he wanted to say ‘hi’ and he was like, ‘Oh, but I don’t know them.’”
Ian: “From an outside point of view, it is heartbreaking to see that. I can't imagine not having known my grandparents. Just to be separated by an imaginary line on a piece of paper is ridiculous.”
Alex: “I hope things get a little better and there are a few more opportunities. Many Americans think that, ‘They come and take our jobs.’ I have American friends and they are not against us, but I tell them sometimes, 'You think we come to take your jobs and they give us papers to take your jobs. But think about it another way. How are they going to take your jobs? One, we do not speak English. Two, we have no schooling. How are we going to stop by an office and say, “Okay, I want your job because I already have papers.” And how are they going to hire me if I do not speak English, I do not write English, I have no idea of English? Even if I have papers, I will not be able to take your work. We are going to have the freedom to be here, but not to take your work from you. How are we going to do it if we do not have degrees? The one that give us our papers is not going to be the one that gives us diplomas, too. That's not gonna happen. Simple enough, what we want is to be free. To have the opportunity to buy a ticket, and to say, ‘I'm going to go to Mexico. I'll be there for a week or a few days, and I'll return.’”
Alex: “Ojalá las cosas se compongan un poquito mejor y haya un poquito más de oportunidades. Muchos Americanos piensan de que, ‘Ellos vienen y toman nuestros trabajos.’ Yo tengo amigos Americanos y ellos no están en contra de nosotros, pero les digo a veces, ‘Ustedes piensan que nosotros venimos a tomar sus trabajos y que nos dan papeles para tomar sus trabajos. Pero pónganse a pensar de otra forma. ¿Cómo van a tomar sus trabajos? Una, no hablamos inglés. Dos, no tenemos estudio. ¿Cómo nos vamos a ir a parar a una oficina y decir, “Okay, quiero tu trabajo porque ya tengo papeles.” ¿Y cómo van a contratarme si no hablo inglés, no escribo inglés, no tengo ni idea de inglés? Aunque tenga papeles no voy a poder tomar tu trabajo. Vamos a tener la libertad de estar acá pero no de tomar sus trabajos de ustedes. ¿Cómo lo vamos a hacer si no tenemos un estudio? El que nos den unos papeles no va a ser que nos den unos diplomas también. Eso no va a pasar. Simplemente, lo que queremos es ser libres. El de tener la oportunidad de comprar un boleto, y de decir, ‘Voy a ir a México. Voy a estar allí una semana o unos días, y me regreso.’"
Ian and Alex hold hands and smile at the camera.
“How come building a wall is not going to stop people from crossing?”
Alex: “We can make a higher ladder. We pass over it and the path will be there, as usual. Jump, run, hide, and you are in the United States again. The coyotes give you options, 'Do you want to go straight through and cross the border with fake papers or do you want to jump over the mountains?' When I came, they charged $5,000 USD for the first way. We paid $2,700 USD to do it the second way. The easiest way is straight through. The other is through the hills and that’s the shortest way. I remember crossing one time and the coyote says, 'We’re going to arrive to that light. Up to that point. Can you see it? You have to endure. It looks like nothing more than a little star. But we have to get there and there is where someone will pick us up. Okay?’ And, apparently, sometimes the lights are far. You walk, walk, and walk and five, 10, 16 hours pass and we still didn’t arrive. After 17 hours we got there to that little light. You walk without water. You just have cookies with you. And we had to drink water the cows drink because we did not have any on us. 'Well, do you want to die of thirst, or would you rather drink from that water?’ What are you going to do in that moment? It's water. Do you want to die? It's pure earth and trees and everything is dry. At those times you want anything to eat when you're hungry. And when there's nothing, you use what you find. Sometimes people who cross leave behind drinking bottles of water and you drain the little water that’s left from them.”
Alex: “Podemos hacer una escalera más alta. La pasamos y el camino va a estar allí, como siempre. Brincas, corres, te escondes, y estás en los Estados Unidos de nuevo. Los coyotes te ofrecen, ‘¿Quieres pasar por la línea con papeles falsos o quieres brincar por el monte?’ Cuando yo me vine, te cobraban $5,000 dolares por hacerlo la primera manera. Nosotros pagamos $2,700 dólares para hacerlo la segunda manera. Por la línea es la ruta más fácil. La otra es brincar y es el camino más corto. Atraviesas los montes. Yo recuerdo cruzando una vez y el coyote te dice, ‘Vamos a llegar hasta esa luz. Hasta allá. ¿Ves? Aguantas. Se ve como una estrellita nada más. Tenemos que llegar hasta allá y allá nos van a levantar. ¿Ok?’ Y aparentemente a veces las luces están lejos. Caminas, caminas, caminas y pasaron cinco, 10, 16 horas y no llegábamos. Después de 17 horas llegamos allí a esa lucecita. Caminas sin agua. Galletas nada más te llevas contigo y tuvimos que beber agua donde viven las vacas porque no teníamos. ‘Okay, ¿quieres morirte de sed, o prefieres tomar de esa agua?’ ¿Qué vas a hacer en ese momento? Es agua. ¿Quieres morirte? Es pura tierra y es árboles y todo seco. Ya en esos momentos quieres cualquier cosa a comer cuando tienes hambre. Y al no haber nada, lo que encuentras. Los que atraviesan la frontera, a veces hay personas que dejan tiradas botellas de agua con poquita agua y éstas las vas vaciando y esta agua la tomas.”
“That’s how you suffer. This is how you come here. Even when night falls, and everyone’s tired. They give you an hour or two break. But that day I remember that we were together, my brother and I, and my other brother as well, as we slept there and the vipers were there about two meters away from us. They were curled up. It is very dangerous. How many people have died there? Quite a lot. And that's one of the things that happens if you try to come here. I’m done with crossing. I already entered three times, and if I’m not lucky enough to get my papers throughout all this time that I have here, okay. But to cross again? Not anymore. Now, Ian, are you coming with me? We have a house there and that’s where we’ll. We’ll work just to maintain if nothing more. Or let’s go to Canada, which is a bit easier, right? But, I would like to be here. But this is where I’d wanted to be. This is where I would like to make my life.”
“Así se sufre. Así es como vienes para acá. Ya cuando cae la noche, ya están cansados. Te dan un descanso de una hora o dos horas. Pero ese día me acuerdo que estábamos juntos, mi hermano y yo y mi otro hermano pues así dormíamos nosotros allí y las víboras estaban allí como a unos dos metros. Estaban enroscadas. Es un peligro bien fuerte. ¿Cuánta gente se ha muerto allí? Bastante. Y esa es una de las cosas si pasan a llegar acá. Lo nuestro ya se acabó. Ya ahorita entré tres veces, y si no me tocó la suerte de agarrar papeles en todo este tiempo que llevo acá, ni modo. Pero pues de atravesar otra vez? Ya no. Ahora, ¿Ian, vienes conmigo? Allá tenemos la casa y allá vivimos. Trabajar para mantenerla nada más. O nos vamos a Canadá, que allá está un poco más fácil, ¿verdad? Pero, yo quisiera estar aquí. Aquí es donde a mí me gustaría hacer mi vida.”
“The wall is just going to make the U.S. look fancy. That wall is not going to stop us. We can use a taller ladder. The trail is right there, like it is always, and you climb it, jump, hide, and you’re in the U.S. again. You walk and walk and walk, and after like 17 hours without water you arrive. Sometimes the only option was drinking water that the cows drink. Would you rather die of thirst? It’s just trees and bushes and everything’s dry. When the night comes, you sleep for one or two hours. It’s rather dangerous, but I wanted to be here to have my life.”
Ian: “It will be a huge waste of money that we’ll pay for. You will not make Mexico pay for anything. You can try to impose a tariff, but it falls back on us. To build a wall you are going to waste billions of taxpayers dollars. And what’s going to happen, it that we build a 10 foot wall and they’ll get an 11 foot ladder. I also just found out that there was a treaty between the U.S. and Mexico in which the U.S. cannot block waterways. So, you’re still going to have gaps for waterways. More border agents? They’ll pick up on concentrated spots of agents and go over another part of the wall. You will not stop it. And if you get closer to the coastlines, they hop in a boat and go around.”
“What made you want to be a part of these interviews?”
Ian: “I am a very private person and I don’t want to be out on display, but this is a gesture of gratitude for what the MICA Project has done for us.”
Alex: “We can make a higher ladder. We pass over it and the path will be there, as usual. Jump, run, hide, and you are in the United States again. The coyotes give you options, 'Do you want to go straight through and cross the border with fake papers or do you want to jump over the mountains?' When I came, they charged $5,000 USD for the first way. We paid $2,700 USD to do it the second way. The easiest way is straight through. The other is through the hills and that’s the shortest way. I remember crossing one time and the coyote says, 'We’re going to arrive to that light. Up to that point. Can you see it? You have to endure. It looks like nothing more than a little star. But we have to get there and there is where someone will pick us up. Okay?’ And, apparently, sometimes the lights are far. You walk, walk, and walk and five, 10, 16 hours pass and we still didn’t arrive. After 17 hours we got there to that little light. You walk without water. You just have cookies with you. And we had to drink water the cows drink because we did not have any on us. 'Well, do you want to die of thirst, or would you rather drink from that water?’ What are you going to do in that moment? It's water. Do you want to die? It's pure earth and trees and everything is dry. At those times you want anything to eat when you're hungry. And when there's nothing, you use what you find. Sometimes people who cross leave behind drinking bottles of water and you drain the little water that’s left from them.”
Alex: “Podemos hacer una escalera más alta. La pasamos y el camino va a estar allí, como siempre. Brincas, corres, te escondes, y estás en los Estados Unidos de nuevo. Los coyotes te ofrecen, ‘¿Quieres pasar por la línea con papeles falsos o quieres brincar por el monte?’ Cuando yo me vine, te cobraban $5,000 dolares por hacerlo la primera manera. Nosotros pagamos $2,700 dólares para hacerlo la segunda manera. Por la línea es la ruta más fácil. La otra es brincar y es el camino más corto. Atraviesas los montes. Yo recuerdo cruzando una vez y el coyote te dice, ‘Vamos a llegar hasta esa luz. Hasta allá. ¿Ves? Aguantas. Se ve como una estrellita nada más. Tenemos que llegar hasta allá y allá nos van a levantar. ¿Ok?’ Y aparentemente a veces las luces están lejos. Caminas, caminas, caminas y pasaron cinco, 10, 16 horas y no llegábamos. Después de 17 horas llegamos allí a esa lucecita. Caminas sin agua. Galletas nada más te llevas contigo y tuvimos que beber agua donde viven las vacas porque no teníamos. ‘Okay, ¿quieres morirte de sed, o prefieres tomar de esa agua?’ ¿Qué vas a hacer en ese momento? Es agua. ¿Quieres morirte? Es pura tierra y es árboles y todo seco. Ya en esos momentos quieres cualquier cosa a comer cuando tienes hambre. Y al no haber nada, lo que encuentras. Los que atraviesan la frontera, a veces hay personas que dejan tiradas botellas de agua con poquita agua y éstas las vas vaciando y esta agua la tomas.”
“That’s how you suffer. This is how you come here. Even when night falls, and everyone’s tired. They give you an hour or two break. But that day I remember that we were together, my brother and I, and my other brother as well, as we slept there and the vipers were there about two meters away from us. They were curled up. It is very dangerous. How many people have died there? Quite a lot. And that's one of the things that happens if you try to come here. I’m done with crossing. I already entered three times, and if I’m not lucky enough to get my papers throughout all this time that I have here, okay. But to cross again? Not anymore. Now, Ian, are you coming with me? We have a house there and that’s where we’ll. We’ll work just to maintain if nothing more. Or let’s go to Canada, which is a bit easier, right? But, I would like to be here. But this is where I’d wanted to be. This is where I would like to make my life.”
“Así se sufre. Así es como vienes para acá. Ya cuando cae la noche, ya están cansados. Te dan un descanso de una hora o dos horas. Pero ese día me acuerdo que estábamos juntos, mi hermano y yo y mi otro hermano pues así dormíamos nosotros allí y las víboras estaban allí como a unos dos metros. Estaban enroscadas. Es un peligro bien fuerte. ¿Cuánta gente se ha muerto allí? Bastante. Y esa es una de las cosas si pasan a llegar acá. Lo nuestro ya se acabó. Ya ahorita entré tres veces, y si no me tocó la suerte de agarrar papeles en todo este tiempo que llevo acá, ni modo. Pero pues de atravesar otra vez? Ya no. Ahora, ¿Ian, vienes conmigo? Allá tenemos la casa y allá vivimos. Trabajar para mantenerla nada más. O nos vamos a Canadá, que allá está un poco más fácil, ¿verdad? Pero, yo quisiera estar aquí. Aquí es donde a mí me gustaría hacer mi vida.”
“The wall is just going to make the U.S. look fancy. That wall is not going to stop us. We can use a taller ladder. The trail is right there, like it is always, and you climb it, jump, hide, and you’re in the U.S. again. You walk and walk and walk, and after like 17 hours without water you arrive. Sometimes the only option was drinking water that the cows drink. Would you rather die of thirst? It’s just trees and bushes and everything’s dry. When the night comes, you sleep for one or two hours. It’s rather dangerous, but I wanted to be here to have my life.”
Ian: “It will be a huge waste of money that we’ll pay for. You will not make Mexico pay for anything. You can try to impose a tariff, but it falls back on us. To build a wall you are going to waste billions of taxpayers dollars. And what’s going to happen, it that we build a 10 foot wall and they’ll get an 11 foot ladder. I also just found out that there was a treaty between the U.S. and Mexico in which the U.S. cannot block waterways. So, you’re still going to have gaps for waterways. More border agents? They’ll pick up on concentrated spots of agents and go over another part of the wall. You will not stop it. And if you get closer to the coastlines, they hop in a boat and go around.”
“What made you want to be a part of these interviews?”
Ian: “I am a very private person and I don’t want to be out on display, but this is a gesture of gratitude for what the MICA Project has done for us.”
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*Names have been changed for confidentiality.
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